A letter from my old landlord!

Larry!

My question to you is how do you stay in such good shape while partaking in so many delicious treats? I imagine that you have a regimented exercise routine of shooting 100 free throws and 200 3-pointers per day. Hope you are doing well.


We sure do miss you!!
Tyler Putt








Dear Tyler,


Great to hear from you again, and thanks for the picture! (For readers who don't know, Tyler was my landlord for my first ~9 years!) I must say that I still look great! How do I do it? Well, although most of my good looks just come naturally, I stay in excellent shape through a lot of rigorous exercises such as plyometrics, weightlifting, and acrobatics. Here's a couple pictures of me in action. That way, I never have to diet!
I hope that you are also staying in shape so we can shoot some hoops together again soon.

-- Larry Bird

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Dear all Larry Bird Blog Fans (all 3 of you),
Merry Christmas to you and your families! Here's a picture of me next to my Larry-sized Christmas tree looking up and watching for Santa Clause, even though I'm a skeptic at heart.
Have a wonderful holiday and New Year's too!
-Larry Bird

Dear Mr. Larry,
With winter coming soon, I've been wondering about the future of bird-human relations. Will we continue to coexist in peace, or will we begin to compete for the warm spot next to the radiator?
Thanks,
Paul from Stanford

Dear Paul from Stanford,

What a interesting question. When there is a conflict between humans and birds, I bite a lot of fingers. I can't stand fingers. I'm not worried about the winter cold. I prefer to keep the thermostat at 69 degrees F. Also, I have some special feathers that help me stay warm just like my own personal down comforter. Thanks for writing!

-Larry Bird

Bird of All Seasons

Larry Bird,
I was wondering if you would like it down here in Florida. Being originally from Australia, would you like the warmer climate? Or have you now adapted to the wintery midwest?Karson S. Putt

Dear Karson S. Putt,
That is a very interesting question. Although I wasn't hatched and raised in Aussieland, my body is suited for a climate that can range from 40 to 90+ degrees F! What a range!
I still have family back in Australia...crazy cousin Ralph.
Being a island for British prisoners, when cockatiels leave Australia, they usually leave in cages. Ha! Anyhow, I think I would be happy in the warmer climate of Florida! But I also like the midwest too.
Until next time,
Larry Bird

My Birdday Party

Happy Birdday to me. Even world-dominating birds like a Birdday party in style. I turned 10 years old on March 18, but people say I don't look a day older than five. I met up with friends in the mirror for a night on the town. Dinner began with dish of fresh popcorn and Cheerios, followed by Total cereal topped with a few morsels of spray millet. Next we went dancing at a hot new club downtown called The Living Room Piano. As the night progressed, things went a little crazy and I flew into a couch. Yes, the party animal within still lives!

Larry Bird and Dr. 90210

Dear Mr. Larry Bird,
I'm a medical student on a plastic surgery rotation right now. Have you
ever considered getting plastic surgery? Like, enhancing your wing muscles
or something to impress the Lady Birds? Is there a Mrs. Larry? What does
she think about you getting plastic surgery?
You are a champion, Mr. Larry Bird.
Your Fan,
Todd


Dear future Dr. Todd (90210),
Yes, I am a champion. As for a Mrs. Larry Bird... ask me another day.
Do you ever notice that the big stars don't really enhance anything on themselves, but instead capitalize on unique features they possess? Look at Barbara Streisand, or Lucy Liu, or Jack Nicholson. I've come to the conclusion that natural is better, and fans will 'flock' to my unique features. For example, take a look at my unique yellow face and red cheeks. Compare my profile photo to these other generic cockatiels I lifted off of Google.

Here's Cockatiel #1:
Here's Cockatiel #2:
Here's me. Notice how my shockingly different color combinations make me stand out in a crowd. If I wasn't so fabulous, I might consider surgery to blend in with the other cockatiels. But, like my Hollywood counterparts, I will use my uniqueness to elevate me to stardom.


So, if you've got something different, don't be afraid to show it off!
-Larry Bird

PhD or no PhD, that is the question

Dear LarryBird,
Should I get my PhD or look for a job?
I am mostly asking for your thoughts in general on academiavs. the workplace. You seem pretty experienced in world domination so I was wondering about your training, and what you think about the ivory tower, if it's worth sticking around for 3 or 4 more years to add some letters to the end of my name. thanks!
Aimee



Dear Aimee,
Finally! A question about life that I can answer! This is a difficult question that many graduate students grapple with, and in the end you'll have to answer with what you feel would be best. To facilitate your soul-searching/decision-making, I made a flow-chart for you. Good luck!
-Larry Bird